Confront the Issues
Yesterday, Rika and I went sailing with a Member in his yacht. We sailed from Horseshoe Bay to Bowen Island and back. It was a beautiful day in Super Natural British Columbia and we had a great time. When large boats or ferries passed by, he would turn the yacht directly into the swell, and I thought that it was a good analogy for confronting issues in our lives, especially between others and us.
We all like to avoid pain, conflict, embarrassment, and discomfort, and it’s natural to avoid confrontation and delay the inevitable. So we look for excuses to procrastinate and we prolong the tension. And, while we await the dreaded confrontation, we sometimes start creating mental pictures of outcomes we fear. Molehills tend to become mountains, and the scarier they appear, the less likely we are to leap at any opportunity to take action and resolve them. We get into a downward spiral of pessimism and avoidance, instead of dealing with the issues and moving on. Like the person who dreads the dentist appointment and suffers far more pain while putting off the appointment than they would have endured during the actual procedure.
We all like to avoid pain, conflict, embarrassment, and discomfort, and it’s natural to avoid confrontation and delay the inevitable. So we look for excuses to procrastinate and we prolong the tension. And, while we await the dreaded confrontation, we sometimes start creating mental pictures of outcomes we fear. Molehills tend to become mountains, and the scarier they appear, the less likely we are to leap at any opportunity to take action and resolve them. We get into a downward spiral of pessimism and avoidance, instead of dealing with the issues and moving on. Like the person who dreads the dentist appointment and suffers far more pain while putting off the appointment than they would have endured during the actual procedure.
I think the reticence to confront issues involving other people is personal weakness. It has nothing to do with the other person. We need to confront ourselves first. The fear of conflict is the result of attachment – we feel we have a right to something, or we fear a loss. That’s because we feel we need something. Anything you need will control you. You need acceptance from someone? They control you. You need them to like or love you? They own you. You need their endorsement, money, or pity? You’re their slave. Free yourself of the mental attachment, and you will be able to confront easily. You can want something, but don’t think you need it. Manage your thoughts and emotions.
Winston Churchill said, "One ought never to turn ones back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half." Overcome your fears by confronting them head on, like a yacht on the ocean. William S. Halsey said, “All the problems become smaller if you don’t dodge them, but confront them. Touch a thistle timidly, and it pricks you; grasp it boldly, its spines crumble.” Be strong and courageous.
Remember what Ayn Rand taught us: “Freedom is to ask for nothing, to expect nothing, to depend on nothing.” Be free. Be fearless. Take action. Confront people and issues and move on. You’re the captain of your ship: take the wheel and sail to Treasure Island.
Robin J. Elliott www.DollarMakers.com
Invictus
by William Ernest Henley; 1849-1903
“Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.”
by William Ernest Henley; 1849-1903
“Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.”
posted by Robin J. Elliott at
11:29 AM
